The Revolution Grows Apathetic

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I wasn’t going to write about this week’s So You Think You Can Dance Dance Revolution but then Matty went and linked here with promises of entertainment, or something so… Here we are.

Cat's Bored Y'all

Mia dined at the all you can eat hyperbole buffet before joining us this evening. Her effusive lathering of superlatives was occasionally tempered with tough, fair critique but the Brandon of it all made me rather uncomfortable. Cause you know what? Brandon’s not any fucking different than he was in Las Vegas. He’s been consistently fucking great. So, in reality, that whole shenanigans about how she’s changed her mind is really just a weasel-y way of saying, I was wrong. So how about an “I’m sorry”? Shanks had the decency to offer one to Danny. I feel like there are these moments on the show when folks get cameras on them and get caught up trying to be all dramatic. Then they go home and watch themselves and realize they kinda came off like a dick. Lord knows I talk some trash about Adam Shankman but after watching Mia’s performance tonight, I give him retro active bonus points for his behavior.

Brandon and Jeanine are a blast. Consistently. Week after week. But can someone please tell them, the Hot Tamale Train is, you know, not a real thing. It’s not like you get 100 bonus votes if you get a first class ticket. Though they might should entertain that there rule change. Then all the jumping up and down and squealing would make some sense. I remember the good old days when the dancers would laugh awkwardly at Mary’s antics. Or was that just in my mind?

Kayla and Kopono. Ready your rotten vegetables. This was fucking boring. They danced it beautifully — committed, connected. Nothing against them. The piece was just a plodding dirge. And seriously, Sonya, you’re a grown ass woman. Twilight? Really?

Fortunately, this piece gifted us what MAY be the greatest Mary Murphey line of all time. I’m a tad heartbroken it happened on Matt’s night off. In elaborating on her point that Sonya’s choreography played to their strengths, Our Lady of the Shrieking Siren had this to say:

If there’s anybody on the planet right now that doesn’t know that Kayla has the most beautiful legs I mean… They must be deaf.

Mary Murphey, ladies and gentleman.

Randi and Evan — More of this Joey Dowling person, please and thanks. Less with the Tyce DiSnorio.

I wanna pause for a second and make a point I’m not sure if I’ve made before… “Broadway” isn’t a style of dance. “Musical Theater,” sort of kind of is but what they really mean when they say “Broadway” on this show is one of many Jazz-styles pre 1980. Usually it’s Tyce biting Fosse badly (or Jerome Robbins or Gene Kelly) as opposed to tonight which was biting Fosse… well. I’m not sure how to specifically codify the difference but much like the difference between Twilight and hard core porn, I know it when I see it.

They danced it, fine. The Rich Man’s Frug, by the way, is f’n awesome. If you haven’t seen it, sad. Here:

That’ll also explain all the jidges talk of their wrists.

Kaitlin and Jason. So when this started out, after the first few bars I found myself thinking, “Oh shit. Am I gonna love another Plunging Neckline number? Am I going to have to rethink my who –” and before I could finish the thought it all spun out of control into this mess of unfocused, repetitive nonsense. Two weeks now they’ve been fucked by shitty choreography/costumes. But unlike last week, I think they danced this really well.

This piece also brought us what may be my all time favorite Cat Deeley moment.

Aside — What is happening when the highlights of the Revolution come from the host, a judge and the recurring visual of a hipster looking boy/girl in a fur elmer fud hat and a lip ring looking uncomfortable in the back ground of every cut away to the choreographers.

Back to Cat, in response to Nigel’s desciprtion of their costumes as “dancing condoms,” quoth Cat, “Safety first, Nigel.” This woman is an angel sent to protect us. I believe that.

Phillip and Jeanine? Tabby Cat and Bonaparte twice in four weeks? Quick, someone write a convoluted conspiracy theory post on what led to that occurrence. Mia was right, the chain was sloppy. I mostly didn’t care. Aside from that this was probably my favorite of anything I’ve seen of Samantha Jr and Mr. Josephine’s (I refuse to give into the nick name). It hit hard, it was intricate and surprising. It had a strong emotional core but not in a sap-tastic way (and I say sap-TASTIC ’cause I do enjoy that shit.) Phillip, you know, hearts and flowers. Love n’ stuff. But Jeanine – whoo boy. She killed it. I kinda really love her. Each week a little more. This week, lots.

Onward…

Seriously, there’s NEVER been a pas de deux on this show before? Certainly not on point but… Whatever. That’s lame. After Melissa and Ade, I’m convinced one couple should have to do it every week. Mia’s right. There’s no covering lack of technique with “personality.” You’ve either got it, or you don’t.

Melissa’s good but brilliant?

(Different score: Berloiz, not Prokofiev. Same moment in the ballet. Dancers: Suzanne Farrell and Jorge Donn. Choreographer: Maurice Bejart.)

Oh Mia… Hush with that. Just, you know, don’t speak.

And for extra bonuses, because I’ve been waiting forever for someone to get it on the you tubes, the exact moment I fell in love with dance:

I was two.

Back to our regularly schedule program –

Ade was a hot mess. Nigel let him off WUH-AY too easy with that aside about his feet needing to be better. I really enjoy him and he partnered her servicably but his technique was weaksauce. And how about that phrase where she does the pirouette, arabesque, grande jete sequence downstage and he just stands upstage, not in any position, no energy in his body… blech.

Vittolio and Karla did a surprisingly delightful quickstep but I’ll be shocked if they’re not gone tomorrow night.

So, that’s all I got. I was trying too hard and I didn’t so much proof read, I’m sorry. I know. It’s Matt’s fault. Blame him and his trip to Montana.

And the Revolution lumbers on…

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